ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
