I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
