If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
