dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
