she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
