office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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