You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
