i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
