The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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