I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
My dick has a subreddit
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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