we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
