That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
You have to summon your inner elephant
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
