Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
