Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
