Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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