A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
