$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
