fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
