Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
