We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
