What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
