Moan for me like Helen Keller
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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