you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
