shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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