It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
