Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
