I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
