He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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