this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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