Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I didn't notice because vodka
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
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