I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
