You made me cry and you don't even care
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
