I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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