hotel room ftw
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
