it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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