When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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