when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
