They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
