After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
