when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
