my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
