i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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