I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Randomize
