This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I feel like death gave me a hand job
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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