You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
