community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
