It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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