Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Randomize
