Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
