What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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