ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
its liver damage thursday
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