I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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