we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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