i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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