We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
