i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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