Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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