there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
